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TRAVELOGUES

Hey, so like these are some of my adventures and travels over the years so like who knows...

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Enjoy.

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xoxo,

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L

01 - KOREA
2018 (ishithink)

I went to Korea right before the Winter Olympic Games in Pyeong Chang. We went from Chicago to Itaewon. My roommate, Sunjin Nam, was a friend from college who I met via mutuals and saved her life. Her mom works at the International School, and her father is a Professor of Theology at a University and a practicing pastor at a mountain orphan and mental retardation institution. We were fortunate to visit Seoul, Daegon, Gangnam, and many other places that I don't know the name of and don't remember. She grew up in Texas and attended university at SAIC. We are both creatives, artists, designers, foodies, travelers, and could be models.

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02 - BALI
2018 (ishithink)

I went to Bali as my VIP Mastermind Retreat for my $20,000 coaching package which was a rip off and a lie. She's an international scammer and a prostitute who thinks she's spiritual, because her stepdad raped her (allegedly), and her mother sent her to an ashram. Sabrina Phillips is a scam artist, liar, and copy cat thief from Miami. Her Australian boyfriend is a liar and rude and is in love with me (because racism and kinks) and has an ex wife and child he doesn't take care of in Australia. The retreat was a mess, because of their break up. They're married now. I called it.

 

I coached her, partied with her, lived with her, and made her popular. A famous italian model influencer who writes for Forbes and is a lesbian for benefits and perks was jealous of me. I deserve a refund and an apology. I think she was a stripper and did porn for Francisco Serrano. I got hacked there internationally, gang stalked, etc.

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17 Steps Cult (Heaven's Gate)

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03 - PERU
2018 (ishithink)

I went to Iquitos, Peru as per a recommendation of a college friend who was the jealous ex-girlfriend of the Dean of Depaul's stepson who was obsessed with me and in with the in crowd of our friends groups. We were popular. They were not. My neighbor Cait Howell was a professional dominatrix and had many high end customers. She was Sunjin's friend first as she and her punjab roommate, Jason lived below us. He always played "Despacito", and let his car run. He also had a motorbike.

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I talked to Mia Spingola after I went to Bali, I think. She recommended ayahuasca as she and her Chilean boyfriend traveled and photographed South America after she taught ESL at poor schools in South America. They helped build La Luna Del Amazonas with a Swedish owner, because that country lacks infrastructure and commerce.

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We went in the jungle and had chaperones from her personal recommendations. We went to parties on playas and islands where there were fights, drugs, mass mob kerfuffles and more. The army showed up on cavalry when we stayed at the American hotel since we left the encampment a few days early. We needed showers and wifi.

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04 - PALM SPRINGS
2019 (ishithink)

I went to Palm Springs solo and missed my flight. I slept through all of the alarms, apparently. People are hacking and sabotaging. Anyways, I met my friend, Ashley Botsios there, because she was going to her friend's Stevie's wedding at the bougie venue. I wanted to go there after winning a free coaching call from Natalia Benson after completely her 7 Weeks to Self-Love and Chakras course or something along that nomenclature.

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It was like all the pieces were magically falling together in place for me while I was manifesting with my coaches. Anyways, I got hacked, carjacked, stalked, followed, bitched out, complained out, strung out, and left to dry, because she's mentally insane and selfish. She's never had a real relationship or friendship that wasn't forced based on her demands. 

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That friendship ended. I drove her to the airport.

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05 - LA
2019 (ishithink)

I've been to LA a couple of times. One time I went and it was awful. One time I went and it was great. One time I went or did I?

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I go to the inn-n-out and the dispensaries. Coffee shops. Thrift stores. Shows. Events. Family stuff. Tourist shit. Comedy. Filmings of shows. Shopping. Driving and perusing. Hiking. Salted caramel on Abbott Kinney.

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06 - NYC
2017 (ishithink)

New York has been a home away from home since childhood. My gay great-uncles live there, and my cousins worked at Hawaiian Tropic. I went to Columbia University for a summer Creative Writing program senior year of high school with my bestie. Bill Russell wrote "Sideshow" The Broadway Musical about freaks and was on the west end and all over. We saw it in Chicago. I saw Michael Meyers cross the street and Kimora's husband at Eat by Chloe. We met the cast of Spring Awakening and went backstage. I worked in NYC and Chicago. My boss at Gawker, I mean Gizmodo was based there along with my coworker and friend, Michelle Chiang.

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Image by ian dooley

07 - BUDAPEST & SWITZERLAND
2017 (ishithink)

I went to Budapest for a work trip during a merger between GMG and FMG  i.e. Gawker Media and The Onion Inc. We went on a tour of the castle, had pho for lunch, and my project manager made me get on a black box and dance. She stayed out later with Dima, and Michelle and I went back to the hotel. If I hadn't called her in the morning to get a cab, she would've missed her flight. I went to Zurich on the way back, because I had a literal vision and saw my AP American History and AP Art History Teacher, Regina Lanford. She's MENSA and went to UC Berkeley. She likes tuna for lunch.

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08 - LOXAHATCHEE & FL
2020 (ishithink)

My ex-fiancee, Christian Serrano, the crazy nudist who is the grandson of Nelson Serrano who died on death row in Miami after he was extradited from Quito, Ecuador as a sitting Oman, whatever that means. He did porn, because his dad got him into it. A bunch of bad shit happened with cop rape and his mom suing him for the mansion estate his grandmother who was a lesbian left him in the Hamptons. So, we go there because he wants to. We bring Cali, his speakers, a tent, fans, an airmattress, etc. It rains so so bad, and no one showed up really. We slept through his DJ set, because a rando gave us acid. I was basically the only female and channeled a dead girl and got a dragon. Ask him and his pokemon tattoos about it. His life is fucked, and the horses and porn trailers don't help nobody no mo.

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09 - TEXAS + TULUM
2012 + 2016 (ishithink)

I got a boyfriend, because I was cool. He was the rich one with the cool stuff, and I did cool stuff and was hotter than him. I went to SXSW after turning freshly 21 during Spring Break of College to see my cousin who was attending Austin University and most likely honeying. We stayed in his boyfriend's eco-mansion, and he footed every bill. The cool thing about being with the models is that you get in for free everywhere, people give me free stuff, and we all get to go in the special for and be in the space for special people with open bar and free ecstacy from lawyers, allegedly.

 

So, we go to Tulum, because the other is getting married. We went to Austin, TX for Jessa's bachelorette. Kara made us take literal joke mug shots and hung up lingerie on a clothesline for funsies and pics on insta. We were cousins whooping it up and having a gay old time on some other people's dimes, because it's party time!  

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Tulum is for Mezcal, weird maids, Hartwood, and sugar water liars.

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10 - THE CHRISTMAS ROADTRIP
2018 (ishithink)

I made us puppy chow, rice krispies, and sundry snack provisions. Kyle and I packed up the car with Cali and all of her necessities to prep for a Road Trip of a Lifetime. We went from here to Dayton, OH to Chicago back to here. It was like a huge amount of weathers and snow and ice. Cali has stayed in a good amount of hotels. She always has fun in the elevators.

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Image by Jason Mavrommatis

11 - chicago
2009-2016 (ishithink)

I lived pretty much all over the place everywhere in Chicago, went to University there and Graphic Design School and Coding school, and worked at a bunch of places, and went all over there - who knows - sometimes to Wisconsin or the burbs or Indiana or maybe to Six Flags on a bad day with a boyfriend in a friend's car for funsies, because adults play hookie too.

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Image by Brandi Alexandra
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